Talking Trash

Something I have to get off my chest.
And no, I'm not the one who's talking trash. And no, this post is *not* related to the latest "news" on Kiefer.

What this post *is* about, is a co-worker. Now, I'm not the type of gal who will come online and get into the blame & shame game and I usually keep private stuff to myself, but this is really starting to bug me, so I need to vent. Once you're done reading, you may think it's no big deal, but it is and if you give it some time, you'll find out why.

So what is this about??
Kiefer in the first place.
How?
By constantly (and deliberately) getting his name wrong. In Dutch, there is only one way to pronounce it and that's the right way!
-IE- in Dutch is ALWAYS pronounced "e" whereas -EI- sounds more like the word "heir". There is no way you can get it wrong, unless you're *trying* to get it wrong. And that's what bugs me.
That intention to say it wrong just to tick me off.

News Flash!!
It's a lack of respect when you don't get a person's name right, especially when you're doing it on purpose. You want to disrespect Kiefer "to my face"? You're gonna get a reaction and you know it.

And here's another news flash!
Stuff like that is "funny" when you're 15 and in mid school! Not when you're a grown woman and even less so AT WORK!

Makes me feel like I'm 15 again and being constantly pestered by my stepdad. HIS biggest joy, was to talk trash about my idols just to tick me off. Just to get me going. For the sake of pissing and setting me off.
Ten years worth of that are enough to last me a lifetime, thanks a bunch for putting me through it again.

Yeah, I'm stronger than that, but honestly, enough is enough.
You're really starting to piss me off by intentionally disrespecting someone I admire and respect immensely. You don't like him? Fine! To each their own. That doesn't mean you can/should disrespect the man. You're also disrespecting me in the process.

That's the first point.

And this is the second one.

You trashing my writing!!

You asked me what my upcoming novel is about. When I told you it was Sci-Fi, your reactions said enough. When I added the word "aliens", your response gutted me.

"Booooo-ring"

How do you know?
You haven't even read THE FIRST WORD and you're saying my novel is boring, simply because it's about aliens. What makes you think a story about aliens can be nothing but "boring"?? Don't you think you should try *reading* it before deciding whether or not it's "boring"?
It could be. But how do you know?

How can you say something like that, when you haven't read ANYTHING I've ever written??


I tried explaining the difference between "not being interested in something" and "something being boring", but you weren't listening. You even dragged another colleague into it, asking HIM what he thought about aliens, and practically telling him he should agree with you in saying aliens are "boring". Thankfully, he's slightly more tactful than you are. And a little more respectful as well.


Do you have any idea how hurtful that remark was?
You don't even know what the damn story is about!
How do you know the book is going to be "boring"?
Simply because it's about aliens?
Why couldn't that be intriguing?
Thought-provoking?
Riveting?

What makes you think it's impossible to write an interesting story about aliens?


Maybe Sci-Fi is not your thing and maybe you don't believe in aliens.
That's fine by me, I won't judge you over that.
But what gives you the right to judge my work without even reading it?
What gives you the right to shoot my story down without even giving it the benefit of the doubt?


What gives you that right??



It's a good thing I've been publishing my work online for over a decade. I've had more than enough compliments and confidence boosters over the years and I know I can write a good, strong, intriguing story. You're not the one who will convince me otherwise.


Just know that talking trash about people and disrespecting them and those they admire, isn't going to make you many friends.


You know who you are.

Enjoy your weekend, I'll be working on that "boring" piece of junk you'll never read.

At long last ....

Those of you who know me personally or even just more than "only online", you know I have a number of tattoos. These are a means for me to express certain feelings and emotions.
Now, at the age of nearly 42, I have finally gotten to a milestone.

My mother, who has always been against tattoos and has never had anything good or positive to say about my tattoos, has finally gotten to a point where she understands and accepts my way of expressing certain things.

3 years ago, I got my son's name tattooed to my right wrist while I was in New York to see Kiefer perform in "That Championship Season". Right from the start (I sent her a picture of the tattoo while I was still away), she disliked it. Not the tattoo itself, and definitely not the fact I had my son's name inked to my skin, but the "extra" curl on the M. She felt it made the letter look a lot more like an N instead. It bugged her and she didn't miss a chance to tell me so.

Here's the picture for reference.

Since my son is just about everything to my mom, I didn't want her to have bad or negative feelings about that tattoo, so I went looking for something to add, which would camouflage the curl. I ended up finding a dragon image I liked and sent it off to a tattoo artist I recently discovered (who lives 5 houses down fom my mom's actually, which is super convenient) and I asked him if he could fit it "to" the other one.

The result is this:

He went over the name as well, making it look and feel like it was only one tattoo.
My son was born in the year of the Dragon and he has always liked dragons (toys, movies, books, you name it, he wanted it!!!) and I found an image of a dragon to go along with his name perfectly fitting.
My mom loved it!!

At a later time, we were talking about it and she actually told me she likes that tattoo very much. She still doesn't approve of the fact I have so many and she's not a big fan of the idea I still want more, but she came to the conclusion (finally!!!!) it was my body, my life and my decision. In the end, I'm the one who has to live with them.

This conversation meant the world to me. When all you've ever gotten was negative or reprimanding, this felt like a "get out of jail free" card. As a result of that conversation and the fact my mom has now gotten to *that* point, I could add another one, as meaningful as every other one I have.

This is it:

In case you can't read it well, it says "Those who mind don't matter, those who matter don't mind".

The day after I got it done, my son asked me what the text means and I translated it for him, then explained what it truly means. My mom matters to me, and now she doesn't mind anymore, so I could get that one done. I think my mom finally understood the deeper, true meaning of all that ink (I have 16 in all now, ranging from tiny ones inside my left hand, to the one you can partially see in this shot on the inside of my right forearm).

She finally understands the fact these actually mean something to me and it's not me being a rebel or a pain in the butt. All of my tattoos mean something, maybe it's something silly, but it's always part of who I am, where I've been and what I've been through.

My life hasn't always been fun and games, I've been through rough patches, but I've never let that stop me. My tattoos are a testimony to that.

Kiefer once said it about his tattoos and I really couldn't agree with him more: My tattoos are a road map, at my funeral, nobody will have to speak, just take a look at my tattoos and you'll know where I've been.

When your 'ink' is inspired by your heart and pulled from your soul, that is exactly what they are: a road map of your life.

Now my mom gets that.